Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
