i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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