He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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