If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
