I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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