community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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