We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
