the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Be still, my beating vagina.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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