so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
