I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
