My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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