Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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