I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
