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Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
