Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Non-Jews are for practice
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
