it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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