how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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