; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
