Sponge bath it is.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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