wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
