I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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