so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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