White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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