Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize