I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize