Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
