There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize