have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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