oh god the rape fog is back!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
