remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
