i permit you to call me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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