I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
