I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
