I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
