Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
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Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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