singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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