So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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