Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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