oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
