You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
