it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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