Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
