another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
