she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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