Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
