He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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