I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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