i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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