I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
