Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
