Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
honey bunches of taint.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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