I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
