and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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