i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
