State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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