Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
