Don't make out with my wife yet
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
