i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
