maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
