So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
