She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize