Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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